Blog

Victoria Castle's reflections on the Trance and its overcoming - with the most recent at the top.  Send your comments and suggestions to her anytime.

Arrogance vs Gratitude©Obadinah
One of the phases of the Cycle of Abundance
as excerpted from the book

"Practice, ah practice"                                                 12-10-06
     In our impatience to reach mastery, we forget our greatest ally - practice.  Martha Graham said it so well, "I believe that we learn by practice.  Whether it means to learn to dance buy practicing dancing, or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same.  In each, it is the performance of a dedicted precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of ones being, a satisfaction of spirit.  One becomes, in some areas, an athelete of God.  Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire.  Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired."
 

"Treat the cause, not the symptom"                        11/1/06
      On my last visit to my osteopath's office, I saw a sign on the wall that said "Pain is a liar.  Don't treat the pain, threat the dysfunction."  That explains why he is so effective and is a great model for any area of our lives.
      We are so quick to address symptoms - to manage them, quiet them, distance ourselves from them, explain them.  That keeps them as object and somehow separate from us.  What if we listened to them knowing that they were the shot above ground that is connected to the root below.
      Be it health, money, relationships, work  - whatever is showing up is connected to more than may be evident.  If we stop to explore it rather than rush to quell it, we may access the thread that takes us all the way to the source of the disturbance.
     Then the action you take will be informed and fruitful because you'll be addressing the issue as related to your whole self.  We can't see patterns when all we're interested in is numbing the pain.

"Rebalancing"                                                               9/21/06
     Tomorrow is the Autumn Equinox whern light and dark are equal.  It is a perfect time to pause and let our own lives rebalance.   How nice of the cosmos to provide occasions like this to help re-set our systems.
     Astrologer and guide, Gretchen Lawlor (www.gretchenlawlor.com), informs us that this equinox is amplified by three other events occurring early in the morning of the 22nd: a New Moon, an eclipse of the Sun by this New Moon and a rare 2nd New moon in Virgo in the same year.
    "Eclipses are unsettling yes, but also great for helping one to wake up from, break out of habituated, unconscious or passive ways of responding to life. Be vigilant for peak moments, where life will provide signs indicating the best way forward, especially in your work, your health. New Moons are great for making wishes and setting intents, and an eclipsing New Moon is even more powerful- and can be just what’s needed to break through places of entrenched stuckness, paralytic indecision and aimless debate, to a place of unified movement forward."
    What a great reminder that we're not here just slogging it out by ourselves.  There are forces everywhere working on our behalf.  Imagine if we actually let them help us!
 

"Confused Identity"                                                         8/23/06
    A good reminder in our me/my world. 
    "A too highly developed individualism can lead to a debilitating
sense of isolation so that you can be lonely and lost in a crowd...
'Ubuntu' is not easy to describe because it has no equivalent in any
of the Western languages...Ubuntu speaks to the essence of being
human and our understanding that the human person is corporate.  The
solitary individual is in our understanding a contradiction in terms.
You are a person through other persons.  Ubuntu speaks about the
importance of communal harmony... speaks about warmth, compassion,
generosity, hospitality, and seek to embrace others."
-- Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

"Ancient Conflicts'                                                                7/13/06
       It's hard not to feel disheartened as we hear of the escalating conflicts in the Middle East.  And it seems that some people (in positions of influence) are resigned to them continuing, not even considering alternatives.  I find it's very hard to not take sides even if it's siding with peace.
       Interesting that the root word for "conflict" means to "strike together", not unlike striking a match against the box, it results in igniting, making heat.  Most of us want to avoid the heat.  It takes a lot of energy and doesn't always turn out well.
      I don't pretend to have a nice neat answer to the conflict that grips many countries in the Middle East, but I am optimistic enough to believe that an answer can be found. It requires finding the intersection of shared concerns and commitments rather than focusing solely on differences.  It involves making the circle wider rather than putting up barbed wire.  Lofty?  Naive?  Perhaps.  But I'd rather be wrong about my optimism than right about my cynicsm.    
     At the very least, we can each hold that peace is possible and send our peaceful intentions to all concerned, even the ones we think are the source of the problem.  What we know for sure is that exclusion is never the answer.
     

"Freedom to consume, freedom to contribute"                7/4/06
       When one grows up in freedom, it's easy to take for granted.  And can lead to a sense of entitlement - of an expectation to be provided for without thought of reciprocity.  
        In the case of a young child who never has to worry that her needs will be met by her parents, it's a lovely blossoming of trust and exploration.  In the case of us grown-up's living in the expectation that if we want it should be ours, it can cause all kinds of distress and some pretty ugly behavior. 
        I am all for envisioning what you want and living in confident expectation (the Attracting phase of the Cycle of Abundance - chapter 7 in the book). The key is to be in touch with the essence rather than the form.  It is the essence that most represents the pureness of our desire, and is what can most deeply nourish us.     
        When we are fixated on getting the "gotta have" as our only means to be happy, wekeep our attention on what's missing rather than what's present and we respond by grasping, lamenting, and resenting.  If in any moment of your life (even the toughest ones) you can't stop and count your blessings, you're living in Scarcity.
        In the U.S., we celebrate the 4th of July known as Independence Day. We as individuals get to declare our independence everyday in how we choose to partake, to share, to live in wholeness and inclusion.  As well as firecrackers and barbeques, let's really celebrate this holiday by knowing we are part of a friendly Universe and making the sure the flow is free to move right on through us.

How to be a Positive Deviant                                      6/10/06
This is from my presentation at the Sacred Activism Conference in Seattle, WA in May 2006. 
    1.Be fully here where you can be of earthly good.  Breathe, get yourself grounded and centered.
    2.Make room for Spirit to move in you.  Release the chronic clench in your mind and your muscle – struggling is the breeding ground for scarcity. 
    3.Know that you belong and that you are essential.  Know that for everyone. Stay awake to the delusion of separation and herd mentality. 
    4.End your allegiance to “I’m not enough” and “There’s not enough”.  Get in a more compelling conversation.  
    5.Recognize that your experience of life is determined by your inner state, rather than your outer circumstances. Keep returning to center where you have the most choices.  
    6.Fight FOR, not against.  Use your precious energy for service rather than righteousness and resentment. 
    7.Be accountable for your own well-being.  Keep yourself full, fueled, and inspired.  Honor what your system needs for you to be at your best. 
    8.Appreciate that oppressors are as caught in the Trance as those they oppress – don’t demonize them, pray for them.  
    9.Stay fluid.  Laugh at yourself, be in nature, meditate, love freely, be grateful.  Keep your heart light, mind open and body active. 
    10. Do what is yours to do with no apology or arrogance. 

"Memorial Day"                                                                        5/29/06
      This is a day when I always think of my dad.  He was a career military officer who flew B-17's in World War II.  Observing Memorial Day was important to him and I remember him "dragging" me to the ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery when I was about 15.  I couldn't have been less interested.
      But something shifted for me that day.  While it did not change me from being a peacenik, it did bring into my reality that throughout history people have been willing to take a stand and give their lives for what they believed.  That it was a huge sacrifice.  And the life I live has been shaped by that.  It's part of the legacy each of us receives.    
      In honor of all those who have ever experienced war or violence, may we take our stand for peace as an absolutely viable future and give our energy and strength to it prevailing.  Let that be the legacy we leave.

"Humbled by Technology'                                                        5/7/06
    It's not the first time.  If anything can make me enter an unproductive state, it's when technology doesn't behave the way I think it should.  Even my wise dog, Tucker, leaves the room when it's a Victoria/technology showdown.
    A bit ironic that I actually had the April newsletter ready to go in plenty of time when the server that sends it out to the 800 subscribers crashed.  And is still limping.  In that moment, I got the opportunity to choose how I would deal with this "inexcusable delay".  
    And still am.  And it's great training.  Yep, my April newsletter didn't go out and yep, I can't contact everyone to let them know why and yep, the newsletter included events that are almost here.   And in every case, I get to choose my inner state, my quality of life in the midst of circumstances being what they are.
    I could impoverish myself daily about this delay or I let it be a great teacher.  It's never the event, it's what we decide it will mean in our lives that grants us freedom or misery.

"Tap Root Wisdom"                                                       4/20/06
      Oh, that we could learn from our plant cousins.  Whether flower, bush, or tree, each starts the same way.  FIRST, the tap root goes down deep into the soil to get a firm foundation and connect to essential nutrients, SECOND the new shoot pushes up with pointed focus so it can pierce through the soil and claim access to the sunlight, and LAST it spreads its leaves out horizontally.  
    No self-respecting plant would even consider starting with the leaves and then eventually getting it's roots in place when there's time.  Maybe that's why they don't have to call in sick or take vacation - because they attend to what is elemental first.
    Here's to taking the precious time to begin anything by connecting deeply to what sustains us so we are grounded and centered, then claiming our space in the family of things as we push through any self-doubt or resistance, and only then spreading our energy to all the demands around us.   

"Overwhelm and Candle Wax"                                                 4/4/06
     Did you know that Daylight Savings Time was actually started by Benjamin Franklin?  No kidding, it was to save on candle wax.  The wax was a limited resource, so when it was scarce people worked during the day and stopped in the evening.  Sounds like a good plan.
     Today most of us feel like we have more to do than we can get to and live in a constant anxiety about it.  A sneaky trap: "Circumstances get to determine what I do, who I am, and where I put my attention."  To be sure, we all have lots of commitments and responsibilities but the minute we give circumstances the authority to determine the meaning and quality of our lives, we have relinquished our sovereignty and freedom.  Note the Trance of Scarcity smirking in the background.
      Overwhelm is not the result of facts (how many things need our attention), it is the product of our interpretation or story about what getting or not getting those things done means in our world.  If we saw Overwhelm as a mood, we'd recognize it's not a very productive one.  How can you take the same set of circumstances and upgrade to a story/interpretation that supports a rich quality of life for you while in the midst of multiple demands?  That's really what's at stake.  How can the vital resource that you are be conserved and sustained?  Certainly, you're more important than candle wax!

"Celestial Doorways"                                                                3/18/06
    We are between a Lunar Eclipse (on the full moon March 14th) and a Solar Eclipse (on the new moon March 29th) and about to celebrate the Spring Equinox (March 20th at 10:26AM PST) as we move from winter to spring and the time of equal light and dark. Those are big going's-on in the gallatic world.
    I'm told that a lunar eclipse is a great time to let go of old patterns and a solar eclipse is a great time to begin a new pattern.  I'm all for any assistance from the celestial realms to help transitions be as easy as possible.
    What if there really were forces working on our behalf?  What if we operated as if indeed it is a friendly universe?  What would we do with all that energy we've been using now to push and force and resist? 

"The Pain of having Problems too small"                            3/9/06
    I'm blessed by the people in my life, they are insightful, soulful, committed, and who make me think.  My friend Catherine talks about how we construct our lives when our problems are too small, like worrying about our skin as adolescents.  If that's all we have to give our attention to, we must shrink to fit.  
    "Problems" that focus us on our performance or appearance or status, constantly assessing how we're doing and how others are feeling about us, rob us of our real capacity to BE present and respond to what is called for. Then it's all about doing it right or looking good.  
   When we get related to the bigger issues of life and what the world is calling for, we fill out into our full and resourceful selves.  For me, seeing how people are trapped inside of "not enough-ness" woke me up to a much bigger issue than not feeling good about myself.  And it propels me in a way that just trying to feel better personally would never do.   
    Getting clear about what really matters to us - as in what we're willing to give ourselves to and have as our legacy - makes life simpler.  Not easier, but simpler.  We know where we want our attention and energy and love to be.  We don't want to waste a drop.  Given the opportunity, we humans are glorious at rising to the occasion.

"The Day for Expressing Love"                                                       2/13/06
    Ah, Valentine's Day - it can be a day of love and care or a day of danger and disappointment.  While having a reminder to express our care for each other is never a bad thing, it's become a day when people get graded for how well they did or didn't display affection.
     If we gave ourselves a grade for how we express our love to the world, how would we do?  How would it show up, what impact would it have?  Love can be defined as unconditional goodwill.   Not limited to just those we love, we can express it to strangers, to countries, even to those most unlike ourselves.  
    Separation, from the quantum perspective, is an illusion.  And we can clear that illusion every time we open our hearts and extend goodwill - just for the heck of it.  The world will be richer for it and so will we.
   

"Instant Contraction"                                                          2/1/06
     With the confirmation of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court, my automatic reaction was contraction: resistance, dread, and fear.  My pscho-biology reacted in a nano second to the news. Clench down! And I watched my system get tighter and tighter.
     In that moment, the news was not good according to my way of thinking, things looked dark.  There are endless unknowns in our world, things to fret about. worry about, try to figure out and get under control.  When we meet them with contraction, we reduce our access to our own aliveness and resources and keep ourselves trapped as a powerless pawn of circumstances.  We dumb down!
    Contraction only assures one thing - struggle.   I still may not like the situation, but I don't need to cripple myself with my own reaction.

"The Year of the Dog"                                                          1/30/06
     According to the Chinese calendar, we have entered the Year of the Dog which happens every 12 years.  This can only be good news based on the dogs I've had the pleasure to know.  They love unabashedly, play easily, work hard, and rest well.  And always available for the next adventure.  Just rattle your car keys.
     Dogs are known for their loyalty and forgiveness.  As the quote says "Let me be the person my dog thinks I am."  What if we offered ourselves the loyalty and forgiveness that our dogs do?  What if, even for a day. we met ourselves with total acceptance - if just the sight of us made our tails wag and our hearts leap?
    Here's to the year of a little more dog-ness in all of us.  The puppy pile is waiting!

"Standing in the Surf"                                                          1/24/06
     The warmth and sun of Mexico in the middle of winter are healing, indeed. And full of lessons as it turns out.  Having spent many hours walking on the beach and playing in the water, here are the big take-away's (as well as a little sunburn and yet another Mexican blanket).
     (1)  Trying to walk on the beach and not get sand in your shoes is like trying to have transformation without experiencing disruption.   They go together.  Anyway, sand washes off and disruption is temporary - if we let it be.
     (2)  When standing in the surf as the waves are crashing in, the last thing that works is to get rigid and try to resist or get above the wave.   In order to enjoy this particular expression of the ocean as it meets the shore, one must sink down, spread your feet/your base, keep flex in the joints and muscles, and recognize that you are in an ever changing environment.   Then it can become play.
     (3)  You can meet the ocean at the very edge where it just slips on to the shore - not much experience of the ocean, but neat and orderly.  You can fight in the surf, getting battered around or playing riotously - a more exhilarating but also exhausting way to engage, or you can swim farther out past the waves - where there is seemingly less control but greater ease as you let the water support you.
     It is NEVER the circumstances that determine the quality of our experience - it is how we engage with them.  Wet or dry, our experience is ours to choose.    
   

"Year End Special"                                                             12/29/05
    How can the year be completing when my To Do list is not!  While this is the season that calls for turning inward, having quiet time, and resting deeply, most of us are filling these final days of the year with all the things we haven't gotten to til now.  Hopefully, some of that is play time with dear friends and family - but sometimes even that can feel like another thing to get done, something that is long overdue.
    Ancient traditions knew to light winter fires and keep them burning through these long nights.  It was a way of calling the light, the sun, back to the earth and it must have worked because the days are already getting longer.  It now doesn't get dark til almost 4:35pm here in the Northwest!  (Yeah, but wait til summer when we have light in the sky til 10pm)
    Part of having a fire is tending it - a lost art. Sitting in its light and warmth, keeping a vigil, watching the night and stars and flames.  We might think of it as the art of Being.  Just hanging out - not bored, not impatient, not productive or unproductive - just Being.  But Being what?  In wonder, I suspect.  Being in wonder.   Letting our senses fill our spirit, not trying to keep our minds busy or still, not trying to figure anything out or make it be meaningful, just giving ourselves to the moment to be filled by it.  
    There are lots of bargains advertised at the end of the year.  Here's one - make yourself available to wonder for even 5 minutes.  Just show up available to be delighted, expanded, and more connected to the life that is yours.

"Poverty and Personhood"                                                                11/28/05
    At a Systems Thinking Conference I attended recently (www.pegasuscom.com), I sat in on a session led by 2 consultants who were working in other countries on issues of poverty and war.   Big issues - big challenges.   One of the defining factors they identified was that in poverty a person's sense of self shifts from "who I am" to "what I have".  What they have or don't have ultimately gets to decide their personhood, their validity as a human being.  
    So often the efforts to reduce poverty are about helping "those poor people" who we hold to be so very different from who we are.  They are almost another species.  Yet how many of us who experience wealth and financial stability end up determining our sense of personhood by the very same measures: what we have rather than who we are?  It's a self-imposed impoverishment that reinforces itself.
    In the midst of this holiday season, there are lots of messages that who you are is really about what you have.  Take a moment to connect with what is most important to you and the impact you want to have in this world.  Buy tons of presents or don't, that's not the issue.  Knowing your worth as a person and letting others know theirs is the essence of the season.
        

"You do not have to be Good"                                                            11/11/05
     The poet, Mary Oliver, is a wise woman.  Getting to see her in person in Seattle just confirmed my hunch that she engages in life in a way that is sane, profound, and magical. She spent the evening reading her poems - some well known, some new.  One of her most famous is Wild Geese which begins with the all important words "You do not have to be good."
      There's a reason we love those words, especially if we're trapped in the Trance's claim that we are not enough and never will be.  Those words awake us to another possibility.  And not only do we not have to be good, we "only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves".  Ahhhh, to let ourselves love what we love and to be in touch with the most innocent and pure part of us - that soft animal of our body.
      Of course it does require that we actually inhabit our bodies and are able to feel and sense and respond to the life in us and around us.  Challenging perhaps but worth the journey.  For a moment just let yourself relax, and turn your attention to what is dear to you, to what you love, appreciate.   If you let yourself be there fully, the soft animal of your body is free to be touched, expanded, filled in a way that cognitive recognition just can't provide.
     The last line of this poem ends with "announcing your place in the family of things."  It's an invitation to full aliveness and full belonging.  Sweet!

"Life is Messy"                                                                                    11/8/05
    This is not news. It’s also not a complaint. It’s just appreciating the nature of how things work. You make plans. Stuff happens that interrupts or alters those plans. You get to make a choice about how to proceed. 
    The people who are most effective are not the one’s trying to get life to behave, they know life is messy – it’s gonna do what it does. But they also don’t spend their time trying to clean up the mess so they can get back to their plans and finally have a good life. The most effective leaders – the people I get to work with as clients – are the ones who are willing to be great in the midst of the mess. They understand that the so called messiness of life is where life is happening and where they can make their contribution. The difference between am amatueur and a pro is that the amateur thinks he can get good enough to avoid the mess. The pro knows it’s part of the mix and stays awake, ready, and poised for when it shows up.
     Where we can really fall into a trap is when we let ourselves take offense to that messiness. How dare it? How could this happen to me? Why does this always happen to me? It’s easy to feel like we’ve been done wrong by life rather than turning to meet what is called for in the moment. If we want life to be neat and orderly and predictable, we might want to flip through the catalog for another planet to call home. 
     Or we can embrace the messiness of life as part of the full meal deal. When we do, we get to see that the flip side of messy is juicy. Would you miss out on eating a perfectly ripe peach just because there will be drips? What’s life serving up today that you’re resisting?

"Vitamin R"                                                                                    11/4/05
     Until we really get that being related is elemental to being human, we cause ourselves an amazing amount of suffering.  It’s really sneaky. Even if we accept that we have a right to belong and that we do belong, we can still throw ourselves into a tizzy trying to be perfect. 
  While a friend recently got ready to do a presentation that he hadn’t done before, I watched him read his notes and practice his delivery over and over while simultaneously spooking himself with how he would screw it up. I’ve seen him when he’s speaking to an audience and do not share his concern. He’s a brilliant counter puncher.
   When he is with the participants, all his attention goes to them – to what they care about, what their cares and concerns are, and how to support them. The second he gets related to them, he is eloquent, relevant, and powerful in his delivery. It’s only when his mind is busy keeping his attention on how he as a singular carbon-based system could malfunction that he struggles. A reminder that your mind is a dangerous neighborhood, don’t go there alone!
  We are at our best when we’re related to each other and to something bigger than ourselves. The people who know what they care about, what their purpose is, what they want to contribute are far happier than the folks who are still treating themselves like a project that needs to be fixed. When we’re up to something that matters, our pre-occupation with our imperfections takes a back seat to what we want to achieve.  It takes a back seat on the train that is leaving; it doesn’t get to stop the train.
  If we want to be smarter, more talented, creative, and effective, we need to recognize our relatedness is home base.  It’s the daily supplement that we humans must have to function optimally – Vitamin R. And its available almost everywhere you turn.  Keeping all our attention glued to our own trials and tribulations is too small for our spirit.    

"Wisdom of the Blackberries"                                                     10/31/05
   On a walk in the woods this rainy cold morning, fecundity greeted me at every turned.   I came home to look up the word to be sure I had it right, "the power of producing abundantly". Yep, that was it - at the last day of October, the end of the season when we leave sun and warmth to move into cold dark wet winter, there was life showing off everywhere.  The moss was brilliantly green, not moping because the sun wasn't out to highlight it.  The leaves that had fallen were carpeting the forest floor so that it was a golden cushioned walkway.  The blackberries, some still red and unripe, were filling every available inch.  Hadn't they gotten the word to shut down production!
     While the appearance of the plants and trees may have changed, they were no less alive, no less engaged in "being who they is".  They weren't in a bad mood because so few of us were around to appreciate their expression.  They were each fully expressing their aliveness and vitality.  In the midst of conditions changing all around them, what was essential about each of them was intact.   
     How many of us can say the same?   When conditions don't meet our requirements, we are often filled with indignant or contrite explanations of how we have been prevented from being as great as we really are.   Ummmm.  Can something outside of us really snatch away our essence?   Or do we have to abdicate?
    As long as we assign power to conditions outside of ourselves to decide who we are, we're victims just waiting for a bully.  We decrease our aliveness and connection to what's called for and what's being offered.  Being true to ourselves is no small accomplishment in a world that rewards conformity.  It is how we make our greatest contribution - by being authentically who we are, no matter what the circumstances or weather conditions.   In the words of the poet Hafiz "Now is the season to know that everything you do is sacred."

"Tight Wad"                                                                                        10/12/05
       What a perfect description of Contraction in action.  And it involves so much more than money.  The term “tight wad” reflects what often happens in our gut or chest, as though all our energy and aliveness are being compressed into a wad of goo.  Remember wadding up a piece of white bread when you were young?  That's what we do to ourselves when we clench, grab, force, resist, and hoard. Not a pretty picture. And the results aren't so great, either.
    Sadly, contraction has come to feel like an appropriate response to the elements of our day.  Pressure, commitments, deadlines.  We keep torquing ourselves tighter and tighter. It happened to me this morning regarding Time or the seeming lack of it. If I don’t pay attention, it isn’t long before I’m tightening up and bearing down––wrapping myself around my own axle.
    But here's the interesting thing: being a Tight Wad doesn't start on the Exhale phases of the Cycle of Abundance where we usually see it:  in Gratitude, Generosity, and Giving.  Wadding ourselves into a knot starts on the Inhale: Aligning, Attracting, and Receiving.  It starts as soon as there’s a catch on the in-breath, as soon as we compress ourselves even slightly in preparation for the struggle ahead.  Preparing for struggle perpetuates struggle. If you don’t catch it early, it takes a lot longer to unwind!
    The state of Abundance, the state of ease and flow, is already floating down the river on its inner tube while Contraction is busy using everything it’s got to make the river go faster.  Abundance waves as it drifts by, wondering why that little hunched up being is pushing the river rather than simply hitching a ride.